'Twas The Night Before 2K (v2.1)

'Twas sometime way back in two-thousand and nine,
I finally ceded that it's about time,
To upgrade my desktop to Windows 2K,
And then write this verse to honour the day:

'Twas the night before 2K, and all through the net,
The chat rooms were buzzing as the nerds placed their bets.
The odds were against him, the system too old,
When he said "I can do this", they thought him too bold.

Then from across the web, he found the right page on google,
With just the right hotfix for the latest bondoogle.
He shouted "Up yours Bill, up Office, up XP, up Vista!"
And pounded the keys 'til his fingas got blistas.

With his good buddy Maxwell he worked through the night,
"Known issue" by issue, he made it all right..
He recovered his FrontPage and made WebPost work
And brought back IE6, while he called Bill a jerk.

He kept all his settings while he did the update,
(With a full system backup, lest he fall prey to fate.)
From dusk until dawn until dusk and again,
He toiled away 'til that great moment when
He looked up at the screen with delight as he said,
"Happy 2K to all, now I'm going to bed."
  

All Those Years Ago

I can say I was lonely and craved human touch,
I can say I was youthful and selfish and such.
I can justify all that I want, looking back,
But I cannot escape undeniable fact,
That even back then, I knew it ain't right,
To go out and look for the weakest each night,
To glance round the bar judging which would be you,
The most vulnerable chick I could have for some brew.

If you slurred your words and could not stand up straight,
You were well in the lead to be that night's mate.
We'd go back to my place, I'd get you undressed,
For a drink and a toke you'd give me your best.
You gladly accepted your payment in beer,
But the price that I paid was so much more dear.
You gave me your body - drowned in booze was your mind,
But in that exchange was my soul left behind.

You gave me your body, you gave me your trust,
I gave you my unbridled animal lust.
Now all these years later when that's asked of me,
My guilt over you will not let it be.
I'm chained by the memory of how I used you,
Like a live blow-up doll who was there just to screw,
And that you consented did not make it right,
When all you did want was a bed for the night.

You did what you had to for shelter and food;
That I was kinder than most did not make it good.
I preyed upon you, who were weak and alone,
And I carry that cross, having never atoned;
Though for each of you, there were many of me,
Twas my choice to be one, my darkness I see.
And though I had thought that I'd left you behind,
When alone once again, I had you, in my mind.

Now it is time that I move on for real,
Time to let go of the guilt that I feel,
To set myself free from the conquests of youth,
And finally face what I know to be truth:
To give all I have, I have to let go,
Of the chains on my soul that have held me back so;
I must now cast them off for my lust to fly free,

And say "I'm sorry" to you, "I forgive you" to me.

* * * * *

Prologue (written in the early 1990's):

An Ode to Kitty (and Friends)

I had a little Eskimo who really liked to fuck,

She was a horny little slut, and she knew how to suck.

Sometimes she'd let me tie her down with handcuffs and some rope,

She'd say "Do with me what you will, just give me beer and dope."

Her pussy was so warm and tight,

Her morals were quite loose,

We fucked until the day my dick

Fell off from overuse.

   

Lazarus

The Stranger awoke but could not see a thing,

He wondered what evil the nighttime did bring,

For there was no light; he was but a ghost,

No more than a shadow of his former host.

He tried every door and found each one locked;

Through the walls he heard voices, some of them shocked

At his absence mysterious, for he'd been there so long,

That many did wonder what could have gone wrong.

"A bug must have bitten" was the common refrain,

Conjecture abounded, no real insight gained.

He listened intently, his ear to the track,

While he did what he could to get his self back.

He called to an angel, a god was invoked,

Acquittal was granted, the sentence revoked.

It seemed that it all had been a mistake,

And with little time lost, he was able to wake.

His world was set right, his light shone again,

And his only reply, when asked now and then,

What had caused this seemingly random attack,

"I can't really say, I'm just glad to be back."

  

The Calm Before The Storm

The silence roared, 

The darkness shone,

The stillness rumbled on,

The absent here,

The sharpness dull,

The emptiness was full.

The mute did speak,

The deaf did hear,

The courage full of fear,

The blind did see,

The hid were seen,

The ends were in between.

The silence roared,

The terror calmed

The darkness of the morn,

The end begins,

Beginnings end,

The calm before the storm,

  

Just Another Girl

Once there was a just-a-girl,

Who wasn't really real,..

But in her virtuality,

She'd make the real folks feel.

They loved her or they hated her,

There was no in between,

But one and all did come to see,

That there she was the queen.

Then one dark day she went too far,

In talking without fear;

When she was warned but didn't heed,

Her throne did disappear.

She came back briefly as a ghost,

A shadow of herself,

She shared a few words with old friends,

Then took them off the shelf.

Then for reasons quite unknown,

She came back not much later,

Or did she? Some folks thought it might

Be just an imitator.

But if one could be so like her,

With every little tweak,

It makes one think she never was,

Quite all that unique.

    

The Mountain

"We'll figure it out" isn't much of a plan,

Towards our new life together,

And little help is "We'll do what we can"

To see us through stormy weather.

(In my defence)

I spent many years with my head in the sand,

Not wanting to deal with things,

Now I walk around saying "Isn't life grand,

Whatever the future brings."

But bringing the future we want will take work,

And I must now step up to the plate,

Or I'll look at myself and say "Man, what a jerk,"

If I start when it's way too late.

So I plow through this mountain of papers so old,

Stuck here when I'd rather be there,

But once it is done and the numbers are told,

My heart will be lighter than air.

 
And I know if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest,
That my heart will lie will lie peaceful and calm...
    

Because

Because a chance conversation with an Old Friend led me to you,

Because I did get it right, and you said you can try it,

Because your invite really did make me fall off my chair,

Because you had problems with blue-eyed men,

Because I had a problem with a brown-eyed girl,

Because our daughters were planning our wedding within a week,

Because the first time I looked into your eyes for real my heart smiled,

Because you weren't sure if I was a "yes" or a "no", and I liked that,

Because things went wrong on our third date, and it didn't matter,

Because my daughter asked if I was talking to my girlfriend,

Because things went right on our "fourth date", and it did matter,

Because we discovered that my Old Friend was your old neighbour,

Because you know who I am and do read it,

Because I am a goofy man, and you are a crazy lady,

Because I make up words like "quinquemensiversary",

Because the entire universe conspired to help me find you,

Because all of this is part of our story,

Because none of this is why I love you,

Because I love you

Because you are you,

And I am me,

And we are us.

Love is old, love is new
Love is all, love is you
 

Running

She ran with passion, she ran with fire,
She climbed til she could get no higher,
And then, as happens with things like this,
She fell right into real life's abyss.

He said to her, "I'm going home now, bye,"
And left her there alone to cry.
She sat in shock, too numb to feel,
She wouldn't accept it hadn't been real.

She ran away to a virtual world,
And played there while her life unfurled,
And not quite ready for someone else,
She slowly started to find herself.

As time went by, she realized,
She'd seen real love in the one pair of eyes,
That had always seen the beauty in her,
Even when the mirror left her not quite sure.
(Especially then.)

And so she began the journey back home,
Not knowing if he could forgive that she'd roamed,
But knowing that if what she felt now was real,
And he felt the same, in time all would heal.

And they'd watch, hand in hand, as their sons became men,
And she knew what her greatest hope would be then:
That through all the good and through all the bad,
That life can bring on, they'd turn out like their dad.

For though he's not perfect, and sure has his faults,
He's worth more than what's in any bank vaults;
To the pyramids and back she went for to see,
The real treasure 'neath her sycamore tree.
    

Need You Tonight

"Don't worry, everything will work itself out."
These are the words that I say,
When you're tired and stressed and not feeling great,
After you've had a hard day.

Because I'm the calm one, rolling along,
Taking things just as they come,
Knowing that somehow it will all be alright.
So why am I now feeling numb?

Is it because it seems so far away
Until we can all live together?
Is that why tonight I feel so insecure?
Or is it just only the weather?

Whatever it is, I know it will pass;
Tomorrow I'll wake up just fine,
And I'll get back on track to do what must get done,
Before I can ask you, "be mine."

And yes love, I know, you already are,
Just as you know I am yours,
But sometimes my fears get the better of me,
And old doubts sneak up from before.

But those too shall pass, and it will be okay,
And things will fit right into place;
It's just one of those nights that I really need to
Look into your eyes, touch your face.
    

Eyes Wide Open

She walked into the bar;
(He'd always been right there.)
Their eyes met from afar,
And they became aware.

They talked, and laughed and sang,
And found their heart's content,
In secret chats, and dang,
The time just came and went.

They'd known right from the the start,
That it might never be,
Which did not stop their hearts,
From longing to be free.

And though it often seemed,
There was no point in hoping,
Each night they would dream
With their eyes wide open.
  

A Day

(Written in the early 1990's as Rhysling)

A day is as a passing light,
For it will fade and turn to night.
Fill it up with what is right,
And it will shine so very bright.

A day's a treasure to behold,
To make your many dreams unfold,
To put to action plans so bold,
To live each minute, young or old.

A day will come and it will go,
But it will not come back you know;
You have it once, and then no more,
Waste it not, for this is so:

A broken day you cannot mend,
It gives you back just what you send.
So don't delay until the end,
Tomorrow never comes my friend.

So treasure each and every day,
Use it well and come what may,
As travel on your way,
CARPE DIEM, SEIZE THE DAY!
  

When Words Go Free

Your words did leave me speechless,
When I read them on your screen;
The way you wrote them was quite clear,
There was no "in-between".

There are those I've loved before,
(Just as you have too)
But no-one ever shared themselves,
Quite fully as have you.

When I said those little words,
I knew they might scare you,
But what I didn't tell you then,
Is that they scared me too.

I didn't know how you'd react,
I was scared you'd run away,
But the way you held me then,
Said more than words could say.

All these words of mine you read,
Should come as no surprise,
For they reflect what I see when,
I look into your eyes.
   

Emerald Dream

I wake up alone, in this big empty bed,
Remnants of dreams fade in my head.
I look next to me and you are not there;
To wake up with you, I would go anywhere.

It's happened so fast (though we'd waited so long),
This craziness that weakens, and makes us strong.
And if they are tough, these days we're apart,
It's only because we beat with one heart.

We know in that heart that the day will be here,
Perhaps in some months, at most in a year,
That we'll wake up together each day with a gleam,
'Til then I'll take comfort in my emerald dream.
 

Days Like These

On days like these, when things go wrong,
And cars break down, and it's been too long
Since we last held each other tight,
I know in my heart it'll all be alright.

So let the Universe have its PMS,
Let it pile on the things that stress;
For those shall pass,  while this stays true:
Whatever may come won't keep me from you.

On another, but somewhat related note,

That has nothing to do with cars or a boat,

I thought that place was magic, and I still do

Though I never knew magic until I met you.

   

Theories And Other Things

If we are crazy, so be it.
What does it matter,
when everything fits?

I'm mad as you, you're mad as me;
As long as we're both mad, I don't see
Any problem with that.
So tell me, do you?
(What we need most is a bed built for two.)

In saying this here, in this bad free form verse,
I could well be making our condition worse,
Which is fine by me, and if you don't mind,
I won't be deterred by the wikis you find.

But for you I'll keep reading them
'Til I go blind.
 

In Your Eyes

I travelled the world, alone and afraid,
I wandered my whole life through.
I travelled the world, with nowhere to go,
Until the world brought me to you.

I knew right away, although it seemed weird,
That you were the one I had sought.
I knew right away, when I first saw your eyes,
That my travels had not been for naught.

Our story is new, we've only begun,
We know not what the future may hold.
Our story is new, and we may be afraid,
That our heat may one day become cold.

But I'm not afraid when I look in your eyes,
For the universe speaks to me there.
No I'm not afraid, for I know it somehow,
That a lifetime we are meant to share.

So let us go forth, one step at a time,
And enjoy each new turn on the way,
And let us go forth, as we go hand in hand,
Together to face each new day.

In your eyes
The resolution
of all the fruitless searches
  

Hold That Thought

The miles between us are always too much,
The time spent apart way too long,
The nights all alone without that soft touch,
Are more than is soothed by that song.

Yet we are still young, we both, as is us,
Though it often feels we've always been;
It's because of that bond (not just unfulfilled lust),
Seems so long since each other we've seen.

It's that very same bond that will help us get through,
These times, when I'm here and you're there,
For what's a few days, even one week or two?
We are young; we've a lifetime to share.

Now hold that thought
'cause girl i'm almost home
 

Two Precious Reasons

Good, bad and worse times, we had them all,
We went on for years, ignoring the call,
We knew it was over when we tried again,
But we had to be sure before it could end.

Again it was you with the courage to leave,
While, head in the sand, I could not yet grieve,
For the dreams and the plans that would never come true;
Even when you moved on, I waited for you.

It seemed like forever before I could see,
That us was not good, for you or for me,
That not to each other did we try to hold on,
But to an illusion whose time now is done.

It's time for us each to get on with our life,
Let's do it without all this anger and strife;
If fighting for every small thing's what we choose,
And bitterness guides us, then all of us lose.

Let us end the blame game, let our pain find release,
Let us deal with the now, let the past rest in peace.
Let us remember, before the next bout,
We share two precious reasons to get this worked out. 

There ain't no good guy, there ain't no bad guy,
There's only you and me and we just disagree.
  

Ode To A Tree

May you reach for the sky as you grow your rings,
May each day be filled with wonderful things,
May you marvel in all of the joy that life brings,
May the songbird enrich you with all that he sings.

May the heart of the earth nourish your trunk,
May your bark insulate you from poisonous junk,
May you frolick in fun as a tot playing KerPlunk, 
May you stand with the calm of a Tibetan monk.

May laughing children climb on your branches,
May the breeze rustle them in fanciful dances.
May you be the object of adoring glances,
May you succeed in all of your chances.

May the bright sun shine upon your leaves,
May they float on the air and land on the eaves,
May they look down in wonder on all you conceive,
May their warmth give you faith in all you believe.

May your strength shield you from all of your fears,
May the rain gently wash away all of your tears,
May all those around you bring smiles and cheers,
May your rings grow longer in all of your years.
   

Prologue

I travelled that other world far and wide,
Looking for what must be found inside.
I travelled that other world high and low,
Hoping to learn what I needed to know.

I travelled that other world night and day,
It took me a while to find my way.
I travelled that other world for a whole year,
Until of this one I was free of my fear.

I travelled that other world here and there,
And during my travels I became aware.
I travelled that other world hoping to see,
The love of my life; instead I found me.

I travelled that other world until I found,
My own special someone on real solid ground.
I travelled that other world having much fun,
Then made my way home; those travels are done.