Fitch The Homeless: Old Fart Limericks

There once was an old fart named Jeffries,
Who said, "We will not sell to hefties,"
So folks bought his old clothes,
To hand them out on skid rows,
Thus expanding his image so deftly.

There once was an old fart from Fitch,
Who had an unusual pitch:
"If you're not cute and thin,
Then for us you're not 'in',
And for you we just don't give a stitch."

There once was an old fart named Mike,
Who said "Uncool kids I don't like,"
Sounding quite like a snob,
He made it his job,
To tell buyers to go take a hike.

An old fart who looked like old Biff,
Thought he was all full of spiff,
But his clothes were too small,
To be welcomed by all,
Now his sales have jumped off of a cliff.

Silly Poems I Posted On Facebook For Her Birthday (II)

00:15
Now you've reached that special age,
The one where time stands still,
When birthdays do not add a year,
But stay under the hill.

A woman, it is said in truth,
Ages like fine wine,
Except that wine does not remain,
Forever thirty-nine.

10:35
Some gals are so afraid to age,
That overnight their hair turns blonde,
As if they could just stop the clock,
With the wave of a magic colour wand.

Grey hairs may sprout, skin may sag,
A wrinkle or two may appear,
But you're only as old as you feel,
And you feel pretty young from here. 

36:01
I'd hoped to post some more in rhyme,
But just didn't have the time,
So all that I have now to say,
Is "Hope you did enjoy your day."